From the beginning...

It occurred to me over the weekend that I sort of started the blog part way through our journey, and I should go back to the beginning to describe our decision to adopt from Ethiopia. Anyone who knows us well knows that Matt and I have talked about international adoption since the beginning of our relationship, and that I have talked about it since I was in high school or college. When I got pregnant with Drew and we found out he was going to be a boy, we sort of stopped talking about more children, thinking that we were happy with one of each gender. But when it came time to get rid of my maternity clothes, I just wasn't ready yet. And I had an even stronger "not ready" feeling when I tried to think about getting rid of baby clothes. So I started to push Matt that I wanted another baby. He TOTALLY didn't want another one.

So we both prayed that God would change our hearts. Many days I found myself praying, "God, I really don't want you to change my heart, because I really want another baby. But please change my heart despite my desires." Likewise, Matt had many similar unwilling prayers. I think God led both of us to adoption at the same time, but we didn't know it until one day at church. There is a family at our church who has 13 internationally adopted children; that Sunday at church, watching those children sing with all their hearts, I turned to Matt and said, "what about adoption?" And he said, "I've been thinking the same thing!" It's so amazing how God works.

Similarly, as we were researching countries and praying about what country to adopt from, God totally was at work. We initially thought Guatemala, because we know several families who have adopted from Guatemala. But because of political issues that are too complicated for me to explain, those doors were closed for us. As we researched other countries, both of us were continually drawn to the faces of the Ethiopian children. We have both been to Africa twice, and love the people that we met while we were there. And above all, despite the concerns we had about becoming a transracial family in a city with racial tensions, I could only envision myself holding an African infant.

So here we are, madly filling out paperwork and telling our life stories to complete strangers. But I know all of this will be worth it the first time I hold sweet little James!! I love you and can't wait to meet you!!